


the secrets we keep

by paperowl



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Mentioned Ben Parker, Secrets, Survivor Guilt, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Whump, mild anxiety, or just normal guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:47:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23827069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperowl/pseuds/paperowl
Summary: “No, Mr. Stark, you don’t get it. I killed my uncle.” Peter chokes the words out, blinking back tears.An anti-Spider-man article is published in the Daily Bugle questioning his "heroic" acts, and Peter starts to believe it.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1696663
Comments: 10
Kudos: 95





	the secrets we keep

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is for the Bad Things Happen Bingo prompt 'secret revealed', and I gotta say, it basically wrote itself (and needed minimal editing), which is the writing dream. Huge thanks to my beta, clairdeloon, especially for catching the fact that I switched tenses in the middle.
> 
> (I might have accidentally stolen the title from a book, because there are a million with it and I work in a library. I thought it was an original idea though, so we're sticking with it)

It starts when the Daily Bugle publishes yet another smear article. ‘Is Spider-Man Really a Superhero?’ The article has no merit to it, of course, but that doesn’t stop Peter from worrying if it’s true. After all, he has blood on his hands, he’s not as innocent as everyone thinks.

Peter sees it everywhere he goes, and even though he’s well-accustomed to people scoffing at him and whispering things he can clearly hear, it gets to him now. Peter tries to ignore it, to pretend that everything is fine, but as time goes on it feels as though the skepticism and doubt surrounding Spider-Man is growing, not receding. So maybe he doesn’t go out on patrol as much as he should, but that has nothing to do with anything. School’s just busy and he wants to spend more time with May.

Tony comments on the dwindling hours one lab day, but Peter brushes him off with the same excuses he’s been telling himself. Tony reluctantly accepts it and moves on, but Peter knows Tony isn’t one to give up, they’ll be back to this. And why wouldn’t they? Peter can’t stop thinking about the article, he can’t help but let the worry and fear fester and bubble, making it hard to ever even step in the suit. But he’s fine.

As expected, Tony doesn’t buy it for long, and the next time they’re in the lab, he keeps pushing further, trying to figure out what’s wrong, but Peter won’t give. So when the two get back to work and Tony’s researching instead, popping up with the article, that stupid exposè from a month ago, Peter’s not really surprised.

“So, is this the reason you’re not going out on patrol anymore?” Tony waves at the giant headline on his screen.

“Uh, absolutely not, never even seen it,” Peter lies through his teeth as though he hasn’t stared at a cutout of that headline every day for the past month.

“And I’m the king of Mars.” Tony’s voice drips with sarcasm. “Cut the crap, kid, what is it?”

“It’s just, um...” Peter looks down at his hands. “Do you think I’m- y’know- not one?” he asks, jerkily gesturing to the article Tony still has floating in the air between them. 

“What, not a superhero?” Tony scoffs. “Of course you are, why else would I ask you to join the Avengers?”

“As a test?” Peter asks, even though it didn’t take much to figure out that Tony had been completely serious. There was a press conference at the compound minutes after Peter left, and even though Tony proposed to Pepper, Peter knew that wasn’t the original plan.

“I’d think at this point you would’ve realized the offer was legitimate, and even if it wasn’t, you’re still a superhero for what you did with Toomes. And what you do every day.” Tony says this as easily as he would reporting the weather, as if Peter being a superhero is so simple.

“But..what if I’m not?” Peter meets Tony’s eyes, and that’s when he can see Tony’s demeanor shift from flippant and easy to serious and determined.

“Kid, you’re a superhero because you got bitten by a spider and developed superpowers, by chance, and instead of deciding to ignore them, or use them for selfish or nefarious purposes, you decided to go out in a homemade suit to save people. If that’s not the definition of a superhero, then I don’t know what is,” Tony says sincerely, and Peter thinks Tony actually believes it, but Peter can’t.

“But- but what if-” Peter pauses then, wondering if he should keep going. “What if you didn’t save everyone?” It’s almost a whisper, but it’s been said aloud all the same.

Tony thinks for a moment. “I haven’t saved everyone,” he says with a shrug. “Neither has Cap, or Rhodey, or Clint, or any of us. It’s part of the job, you have to learn to accept that you can’t save every person.”

“But what if-” Tony holds up a hand and Peter stops in his tracks.

“You can’t beat yourself up over a what-if, kid. Trust me, it never leads to anything good,” Tony says, with an almost sad look in his eyes.

“But-” Peter starts.

“Peter,” Tony cuts in. “If there’s something you need to tell me, just say it. I promise, unless it was premeditated, entirely un-accidental murder, I won’t care. Every one of us has someone we wish we could have saved, people we think we should have been able to, don’t worry about it, alright? I’m not judging you.” Tony was so earnest, so convinced of Peter’s innocence, and if anything, that made it harder for Peter to say it. 

“I…can’t,,” Peter says almost apologetically, wincing at how his voice sounds. Desperate and scared.

“Yes, you can,” Tony says, coaxing eye contact from Peter. “It just gets worse the longer you let it sit, so it might be hard now, but it’ll get harder the longer you wait.”

“I-” Peter swallows, closing his eyes so he doesn’t have to see Tony’s face. “I’m the reason my uncle is dead.”

Tony doesn’t say anything, and Peter cracks an eye open to see a sad look on his face. Not a word has to be said for Peter to get the message.

“No, Mr. Stark, you don’t get it. I killed my uncle.” Peter chokes the words out, blinking back tears.

“Did you shoot him?” Tony asks, not breaking his gaze from Peter’s face.

“Well, no,” Peter fumbles, trying to say more when Tony cuts him off again.

“Did you tell someone else to shoot him?”

Peter swallows. “No...”

“Then you didn’t kill him.” Tony settles back into his chair, a determined expression on his face.

“But I-” 

“Didn’t kill him,” Tony finishes for Peter. “Unless you took direct action against your uncle’s life, you didn’t kill him.”

“No. You don’t get it,” Peter says firmly, moving forward on his seat. “I caught the guy who- who shot Ben. I had him, and I let him go. If I hadn’t let him go-” Peter pauses, blinking rapidly to hold back the tears that gathered in his eyes “Ben would still be alive.” The last words come out wobbly and quiet, and hot tears start to track their way down his cheeks.

Peter curls in on himself, waiting for Tony to get mad, to agree that it was his fault, that he doesn’t deserve the suit, doesn’t deserve to be Spider-Man. But that doesn’t happen, instead, Tony reaches over and wraps his arms around him, letting Peter cry into his shirt when he can’t hold back the tears anymore.

“That’s not on you, kid, I swear,” Tony says quietly, the tip of his nose brushing the top of Peter’s head. “You thought he’d learned his lesson, that he’d get better, right?” Tony asks.

“Yeah,” Peter says meekly through his tears.

“Well, once you gave him that second chance, it became his choice, not yours. You saw the best in him, and that’s not a bad thing, Peter, you couldn’t have known.”

Peter pulls away, wiping at his eyes, “It’s still my fault, though.”

“No, it’s not. I don’t blame you for what happened, no one does. It was an awful accident that no one could have predicted. It’s not your fault.” Tony hands Peter a tissue, which he crumples in his fists before opening his mouth to protest.

Tony cuts him off, seeming to know what he’s about to say and not even letting him get a word out. “Absolutely not. The people at the Daily Bugle and anyone who believes the shit they put out is an idiot, I promise no one else knows about this. And even if they did, it wouldn’t make you any less of a superhero, got it?” 

Peter nods his head and sighs shakily, still recovering from all the crying he’s done. “Thanks.”

“No problem, kid.” Tony ruffles Peter’s hair, a fond smile on his face. “Now, what do you say we take a break from the hard stuff and go watch a movie?”

When they settle on the couch together, the opening credits flashing on screen, Peter shifts a little closer to Tony, and, eyes heavy, rests his head on Tony’s shoulder. Tony wraps an arm over Peter’s shoulders, and Peter thinks that maybe, just maybe, if Tony doesn’t blame him, then neither does Ben.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr, [Papered-owl](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/papered-owl). Come for the writing updates, stay because I post bad art occasionally.


End file.
